Poised at the threshold of the Slippery Slope, unbidden reflections bubble up sort of like the rodents in the Whack-a-Mole game. The odometer on my e-bike recently hit 5000 miles. This accomplishment has taken me from age 72-76, four entire years. When I was 37, I rode across the USA on a skinny tire Trek road bike covering 2500 miles in six weeks. My companion was my 13 year old nephew, Sean.
Sean has gone beyond—-dead at 25 by his own hand.
Living as an elder presumes the death of family members, spouses, dear friends and beloved pets. Living as an elder carries the weight of the non-negotiable actuality of personal death. Living as an elder means accepting agonizing, irreplaceable losses in both body and soul, maybe excruciatingly slowly.
I can still ride a step-through e-bike. I use the pedal assist sparingly. I ride almost everyday, if only to the mailbox. I will never again ride a bike like the wild woman my heart remembers, careening down a Vermont mountain at 52mph.
I will see Sean no more in this lifetime. I miss my parents and dear friends who are with him in the place some believe is heaven.
I want to do what I still CAN do. I want to hold those remaining in my life close and love them hard. I want to LIVE large on the downside of that damn Slippery Slope.
You are an inspiration. I plan to finish the 2025 Selma to Montgomery ride this time. I need to get out there!!!!