As my life continues down the Slippery Slope, engagement with the everyday world seems to be diminishing—this world which has provided so much pleasure, so many experiences, and beauty beyond description.
To me, aging is a synonym for loss: loss of bodily abilities and loss of interest in activities which no longer speak my language. I have played my last pickleball game and climbed my last mountain. I will never again “own” a dog. My parents and too many good friends have disappeared into the ether. Small talk bores the living hell out of me. I am beginning to observe politics and the worshiping of sports teams, celebrities, and organized religion from an ever increasing distance.
Aging is also about replacing losses with something else, a deeper and more nuanced way of seeing. I have been enlightened into empathy. Feeling “with” another’s pain and struggles. A man slowly pushing a walker, a woman sucking oxygen as she shops for groceries, a sunburned guy begging for handouts. Compassion floods my being and it hurts to take in the suffering which is everywhere. Years ago, I did not “see” my fellow humans. I see them now because they are me. I am sorry it took so long.
This time of the Slippery Slope can be summed up in just two words: Just This. This Moment, of all the moments in my long life, may inflict tremendous pain or incredible wonder. Bring it. With one foot in this world and one in the next, I am learning to BE. No need to constantly DO. I watch the pollinators and butterflies in my yard. I cook a nice dinner, slowly and mindfully. I open the windows which have been closed for seven months to the Florida heat. The breeze in my face is glorious. Little things. Compliment the check out woman’s pleasant smile at the grocery store, bring in the morning paper for my spouse, read and write and Be.
“Stillness.
One of the doors
into the temple.”
——-Mary Oliver
Great reflections. I'm feelin this too.. except for the cooking. I am struggling with that. Thanks for sharing your process.
Beautifully written and beautiful observations. Love you!